A BRIEF AND COMPLETELY NON-FABRICATED
HISTORY OF RASCAL RED AND THE POSSUM POSSE:

The story of Rascal Red begins in the small town of Skunkspew, Texas sometime in the mid 1950's. Red began playing the guitar in the 2nd grade and instantly knew it was his destiny to be a musician, despite the fact that he wasn't very industrious or committed. After a series of unfortunate and complicated circumstances, Red found himself in Nashville sometime in the 1980's, where he aspired to be a country and western superstar.

Because of his amazing skills, Red knew that it was completely unnecessary to pay any sort of "dues" to make it in the industry. He spent quite a bit of time reading magazines and the rest of his time in front of the Chinese restaurant fishing for "carp." In the evenings he would check his answering machine to see if any record companies had called, but after the first three months, his finances got to be pretty tight, so he decided to have his phone disconnected. He was fairly certain that most of the record companies did try to contact him shortly afterwards, but he moved home to Skunkspew within a few weeks, so nobody really knows for sure.

Rascal Red did have a small amount of mainstream success with one song - the jingle he wrote for Goldstein's Foundation Repair. By "mainstream success," however, I mean that the owner of Goldstein's Foundation Repair chose it as second runner-up in the jingle-writing competition. No trophy or plaque was awarded, but I'm sure that's because of some sort of procedural snafu.

Anyway, Red moved back home and began a concerted effort to become a pillar of the Skunkspew community, which has just enough people to have a fairly stable pillar-supported community. Shortly afterwards, Red was elected the town's mayor/judge in a completely fair and un-rigged election. Some townspeople believe that Red's success was due solely to his best friend since childhood, Bud Watkins, and the pull Bud had within the community in his long-standing role as Sheriff - but those people are completely wrong. Red totally earned it, fair and square.

About that time, The Possum Posse, an "up and coming" band within the Skunkspew music scene (which is admittedly pitiable and depressing), formed by a group of minimally talented musicians, was recruited by Red to back him in a new and amazing country and western super-group. Actually, The Posse got busted by Bud stealing gas out of a Ford Ranger and ended up at a hearing in front of the Mayor/Judge. Red sentenced the band to community service, which incidentally involved backing Red in a new and amazing country and western super-group.

The band's reluctance to join was quelled when Red pointed out some startling symbolism in that the Possum Posse's name actually has Latin roots, and means "We're able to be able." The band wasn't sure if that was true - they just thought the name sounded extremely cool - but it sounded fairly plausible and they didn't really understand where Red was going with that line of thought anyway, so it didn't matter. Also, Red is the Mayor/Judge, so it was a moot point. Also, they realized once he told them, that Red did have some hometown recognition for his accomplishments in the Goldstein's Foundation Repair Jingle-Writing Contest of '87. But also he's the mayor/judge and threatened to send them to jail otherwise.

The Possum Posse's community service project originally involved paying similar "dues" to those Rascal Red didn't need to pay when he was living in Nashville. By booking gigs at utterly deplorable venues, such as "The Cat Lady Hair Saloon" in Edgar's Gulch and "The Rooster's Poo" in Stinkwater, the band's popularity slowly and some might argue steadily grew to its current state of "Hmmm, that sounds vaguely familiar," though it occasionally still falls in the " No, actually, I'm thinking of something else" range.

Unfortunately, Red has never physically made it to any gigs, practices, brainstorms or band meetings, mostly because of his hectic and completely legitimate work schedule. He does, however, show up to collect the compensation from any gigs or merchandise sales. The band's lineup tends to rotate as convictions occur and/or are overturned. As a result of Red's absence, the other band members are forced to pick up the slack, but harbor absolutely no ill feelings nor any pent-up resentment and/or blinding rage toward Red.

The Posse has since begun playing select gigs in the Austin, TX area, usually uninvited. Be sure to check out the Posse's Gig Schedule to see when they're playing near you.